So this is what 30 feels like.
It’s when you have to think twice about that second cookie, you decide to wear shades more to avoid those impending crow’s feet,and you get to thinking if you were able to make the most of your third decade as part of humankind. I almost had my eyes closed waiting for a certain change, like fairy dust sparkles and life just handing me a trophy, shouting into a megaphone – Congratulations! You made it to 30!
Now that I’m significantly older and wiser than when I last blogged and felt the need to express myself, I think back to how much worrying I’ve wasted time on in the 30 years that God has given me. A few months ago, during our Church Voice/Choir Coaching Class, we were given an essay asking us to describe ourselves. It took me 2 weeks to write that essay. I literally couldn’t do it, like my hand was petrified and my brain would go blank when I tried to write it. I felt like I lost myself in my adulthood and constant worrying on how things will turn out, and writing that essay would mean that I would have to compartmentalize or fit some stereotype to come up with a description of who I am. In one of the birthday greetings I got from a close friend, she praised me on how I am doing great on the roles that define me – Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Friend – and I realize that this is me, these roles are how people see/appreciate me and how I should see myself.
So now I’m dropping the “Worry hat” I’ve been wearing and leaving it at this crossroad. I’m going to focus on being the best version of me from now on and worrying will not help me do that. I will conquer this mountain that is the big three-O.
Cheers to being 30 and fabulous!